Should I come out about my sexuality or identity?

Your teenage years are a time when you may start discovering your sexuality and identity and while it is exciting, it can also be confusing. Sexuality is an important part of who we all are and it includes feelings and attraction to other people. 

Knowing you are straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer, asexual or another identity (LGBTQIA+) means you understand a part of yourself. 

Now you may face some decisions about coming out (telling someone else about your gender identity or sexuality). 

Here are things to think about:

Do I want to come out?

There is no wrong answer to this question. Coming out is your decision, and you have the right to tell (or not tell) anyone you like. Coming out is a relief for some people and can bring them closer to their friends or family. But if someone is prejudiced (they have judgements about you) or doesn’t understand you, coming out could be hurtful or even put you in danger. Even if you don’t want to come out, that’s fine. Do whatever feels right and safe for you.

How do I let someone know?

If you do want to come out to someone in your life, first think about: 

  • Their attitudes toward people with your sexual orientation or gender identity.
  • How they might react.
  • Why you want to come out to them.
  • If you are financially dependent on them, and what would happen if they rejected you.

Remember, always put your safety first and make the decision that is right for you.

Check out this video where Amo ‘Sasha’ Kekana shares his experience with coming out.

Do you want to talk to someone about coming out? loveLife is here for you.

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